It's Killing Her
by xxCharmspeakerxx
Summary: Rose has a problem, a serious problem. It's getting out of control but a smile and a little laughter will fool them all. Nothing to worry about until it gets all too much for her and people start to notice including the Doctor. Please, let me be! Let. Me, Be! *Trigger warning self harm and eating disorder*
1. Getting Bad

_Hey my name is Macy I'm xxCharmspeakerxx's friend and since she doesn't use this site anymore she's allowed me to use it so yeah. I'm not going to change anything on her profile just for future reference and I hope you like my story(ies). Please drop a review, I'm new here and I hope you like my story that I've written. I don't own any characters in the story by the way. Love you!_

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Chapter One: Getting Bad.

_It's getting bad again,_ Rose thought as she paced in her room. _What if I can't control this anymore? What if I go need to go back to the hospital again? What if the Doctor finds out? I can't tell anyone, no wait, I can talk to my mum; oh how I miss my mum, though, I know she's doing better without me. I'm just a screw up, a stupid ape like the Doctor says. I'm worthless! I need to get out of here_!

"Rose?" The Doctor knocked on her door. He opened the door and saw the worried look on her face. She wore a strapless summer's dress that went down to her knees and plain black flats on. Her hands were in her hair and she was leaning forward a bit. "Rose, what's wrong?" The Doctor walked into her room, gentle held her hands and sat her on the bed next to him. He didn't let go on her hands, they were so soft but also because she looked so fragile, so small right now. The Doctor didn't like the look of her state. Her face wasn't glowing like it normally would, there were dark purple bags under her eyes from lack of sleep and her body posture seemed broken. Rose wouldn't look at the Doctor; she didn't feel the need to.

_He hates me, he doesn't need me, the Doctor wants me out of here, why am I here? Why am I living? What is my purpose in life? What are you doing here? Get out of here! Go into the vortex and just stop breathing. Get a knife and stab it in your heart, neck, stomach! Watch the blood on your hands. Just get out of his world! Of the entire universe! Nobody wants you, nobody loves you!_

"Yes?" Rose answered the doctor. The Doctor squeezed her hands and looked at her eyes. Rose closed her eyes as soon as she knew that the Doctor was trying to find them. They looked gross and she hated them, she hated herself all together!

"What's wrong, Rose?" The Doctor let go of her hand and tilted her face up using his thumb and his finger to hold her head in place. Her eyes still weren't open, and he didn't think that they'll open anytime soon. _Maybe she's just tired_, the Doctor thought,_ she never acts like this though_. "You can trust me, right?"

_Shut up, I know you hate me. Stop pretending to care all the time! You want me out? It's okay, once we visit my mum I won't come back. I won't come back to my mum either, I'll say goodbye to them though, maybe send a card to them. Yeah, I'll send a note to them plus the Doctor. Goodbye, Doctor._

"Do you mind if we go back to my present time? I just really need to see my mum for a day." Rose asked the Doctor tearing up. The Doctor nodded and gave her a tight hug. He felt her tears dropping onto his black leather jacket. Normally he wouldn't be this affectionate to his companions but Rose was different to all his other companions, this was **Rose Tyler**.

"Give me a couple of days; the TARDIS is just regaining some power as we go along." He pulled away from Rose and kissed her forehead. "Get some sleep, you looked exhausted." He left Rose once she had changed and was tucked into her bed and changed the course rout back to London. He was convinced that Rose would get some sleep, but she didn't get any. Instead, Rose's thoughts were running through her head. When she thought about h everyone's smile she's seen over her life time, her body ached at their happiness. Laughter, smiles, playing games, everything she thought about, her body ached painfully. It wouldn't stop aching, her thoughts carried on and it was mentally hurting her.

"This. Pain. Needs. To. Stop." Rose whispered as she pushed the covers off her body and walked into the bathroom. She opened her make up bag where she kept a blade for safe keeping. She swore to herself that she'll only use the blade if she's in trouble and also when she was younger, Rose used to have trouble sleeping so she'd take sleeping tablets and she used the blade to cut up the tablet but that's the only use of the blade that was needed back then. She picked up the blade and then the blade kissed her skin on her wrist. The kiss was so deep, that some of the pain had left her. The blood started dripping from her wrist as she outlined the slit that she made.

_The Doctor hates you_, cut; _your mum hates you_, cut; _c'mon! Even Micky hates you and he said that he'll always be there for you._ Cut.

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_Love You! __xxCharmspeakerxx_


	2. Stravation

_Hey my name is Macy I'm xxCharmspeakerxx's friend and since she doesn't use this site anymore she's allowed me to use it so yeah. I'm not going to change anything on her profile just for future reference and I hope you like my story(ies). Please drop a review, I'm new here and I hope you like my story that I've written. I don't own any characters in the story by the way. Love you!_

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Chapter Two: Starvation.

The Doctor woke up in his bed feeling re-energized then yesterday. He sat up and stretched cracking a couple of his bones in the process. He changed out of his pyjamas and into his uniform, brushed his teeth, undressed, showered, re-put his clothes back on and went into the kitchen where Rose sat with a plate filled with waffles that I made the other day.

"Morning!" The Doctor grinned at Rose who hadn't looked up from her food. She looked so tired and for the matter of fact, yes she was tired but not the sleepy tired; the tired when you just want to do nothing and don't want anyone to notice you; that kind of tired. "You okay?"

"Yeah," Rose lied._ You're fat, worthless, unwanted, a little pig. You're a disgusting little pig! You feel that? It's your stomach getting bigger and bigger as you inhale air. Look at you, you're clumsy, your thighs jiggle and become bigger when you sit down, your stomach pulls over your jeans whenever you're sitting or leaning, you need to lose that weight, you don't look good in your bikini anymore, you might as well throw it away! Wear baggier clothes, no one can stand that fat that you carry around. Your arms! Look at those arms! They flap when you wave goodbye and when you run, might as well cut them off. Oh my, tsk tsk, your collar bones aren't showing enough to say that yes you are skinny, you're so worthless even your body hates you. _"I'm just not that hungry."

Rose lifted herself out of her chair and left the kitchen. The Doctor frowned and made a coffee and ate her waffles. She really needs to see her family, he thought while he ate and washed the dishes. Once the dishes had been done, he ran into the control room and checked the power level for the TARDIS. 64%. The Doctor smiled and ran to Rose's room.

"We just need to be here for another day then we can go back to Earth, okay?" The Doctor called out.

"Yep, okay." Rose replied. She sat in the bathroom floor with last night's dinner flushed down the toilet. She was so hungry at the moment in time; she wanted to stop off at a McDonalds and buy at least twenty cheese burgers and eat them all at once, that's how hungry she was.

Rose lifted herself from the floor and took her shirt off dropping it on the floor. She poked at her stomach and grabbed the fat that she held. "It's so much," Rose said grabbing her love handle. She slapped her stomach repeatedly. "It's too much." She leaned over the toilet seat bowl and shoved one finger down her throat, two fingers down her throat, three fingers down her throat, and finally she had an effect. She held the toilet seat and threw up more of her dinner from last night.

The Doctor heard a strange noise. When he finally realised that Rose was sick, he ran to her room, opened the door and went straight to the bathroom. There she was, throwing up her left overs. The Doctor held her hair back and rubbed circles on her back whispering comforting words to her as she heaved.

"It'll be alright," The Doctor said when Rose had finished. He helped her to the sink and held her up as she brushed her teeth. Afterwards, he tucked her into bed and turned the lights off. He shut the door and sat in the desk chair beside her bed, waiting for her to go to sleep. Since she's sick, he wanted to help her as much as possible to regain her health. The Doctor didn't leave the seat until he was convinced that she was asleep, though, he fell asleep before he was convinced.

Rose took this opportunity to go into the bathroom and let the pain in her blood stream to flow away.

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_Love You! __xxCharmspeakerxx_


	3. Sleep?

_Hey my name is Macy I'm xxCharmspeakerxx's friend and since she doesn't use this site anymore she's allowed me to use it so yeah. I'm not going to change anything on her profile just for future reference and I hope you like my story(ies). Please drop a review, I'm new here and I hope you like my story that I've written. I don't own any characters in the story by the way. Love you!_

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Chapter Three: Sleep?

Rose's stomach had sharp pains running through them. She woke up with a killer headache and she felt like the pain in her stomach was weighing her down. Every time when the Doctor gave me food, he would sit on my desk chair and watch me eat. In a way, Rose thought it was really cute and sweet but then she remembered, he didn't really care about her, he just wanted her to leave the TARDIS and she respect his decision.

"Doctor I can't eat this." Rose said pushing her plate away. She felt sick from looking at the food but not the throwing up sick, a strong pain in her stomach that won't leave her alone sick. "I'm sorry, but I can't."

"Why not, Rose?" The Doctor asked pushing the plate towards her. She looked down, felt the sickness again and pushed the plate away. "What's going on?"

"I'm just not feeling well, that's all." Rose lied. It was so much more. _Oh look who it is, the Doctor! Pretending that he gives a shit about you; He doesn't, sweetie, so get over him. He wants you dead like your father, your mother and your friends also want you to die. When you left to go with the Doctor your mother threw a party for your going away with all your friends and family, even Micky hooked up with this girl! He hates you, you know? He never loved you. You're pathetic, a worthless little girl. How about this, when the Doctor leaves, we go into the bathroom and pick out all your flaws, give yourself a scar for each flaw, that'll be fun! _"Seriously, I just need some rest then I'll be good as new!"

"You haven't been sleeping, Rose." The Doctor took the plate away and put it on her desk. "Don't bother saying that you have because your eyes are blood-shot and you have bags under your eyes. What's been on your mind?"

"Nothing. I just haven't been sleeping." Good girl, don't tell him the truth. He doesn't care so why are you even discussing it?! "Nothing has been on my mind, Doctor."

Rose shifted to the other side of her bed and laid down facing the other side of the wall so that the Doctor couldn't see her pained face. Rose closed her eyes and started breathing lightly, pretending that she was sleeping, hoping the Doctor would go away. She heard the Doctor leave his chair and the light suddenly turned off, but she heard his footsteps come back. The Doctor took his jacket and shoes off and put them on the floor and his jacket on her desk chair. The Doctor climbed into Rose's bed, pulled the sheets over his body and held Rose close to him.

"What are you doing?" Rose asked. She loved the way the Doctor held her tightly, his strong arms around her big fat waist and the fat that he hardly notices her fatness.

"Over my nine hundred years of living, cuddling gives you better chances of sleeping." The Doctor replied. _See that, he just wants you to sleep; he basically just said that he doesn't care about you. You thought for a second that he might like you? Oh how you've got an imagination. Go to sleep, pitiful little one_. "Plus you're Rose Tyler and every Rose Tyler is amazing at cuddling." _Oh now he's just using you. Go to sleep, pathetic little one._

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_Love You! __xxCharmspeakerxx_


	4. Home

_Hey my name is Macy I'm xxCharmspeakerxx's friend and since she doesn't use this site anymore she's allowed me to use it so yeah. I'm not going to change anything on her profile just for future reference and I hope you like my story(ies). Please drop a review, I'm new here and I hope you like my story that I've written. I don't own any characters in the story by the way. Love you!_

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Chapter Four: Home.

"Rose!" My mother held her arms out and pulled me in for a hug. "How are you, honey?" She crushed me with her tight hugs that I've always loved.

_Oh your mum is here? Don't you remember how I said that she threw a party for you? Yeah, I forgot, she got Facebook and wrote statuses saying that she feels so much free without you to worry about. She shops so much now, she sings in the mall about how she can spend money and not have to worry about you anymore. Sorry I must of forgot to tell you that, ha-ha, silly me!_

"I'm fine. How are you?" Rose replied with a forced smile. "Hey, I think I'm going to lie down for a bit, I'm so tired. I'm sorry. I'll have dinner if I'm awake." Rose kissed her mother's cheek and quickly went to her old bedroom. All of her stuff was in the same place, her bed made and her room was cleaner then when she left. Rose opened her wardrobe and looked at her pyjamas. They were short shorts and a short sleeve top. "I can't wear this," she said, "they'll see my scars."

_Oh speaking of scars, do you have your blade on you? We need to do some more cutting for your ugly body. Look at you; you can't even have your hair looking pretty and neat! Your make up looks like shit and your personality is bland. You might as well kill yourself, wait, that's a good idea. Let's do that one day!_

"Okay." Rose went into her make up bag and brought out her blade. She brought the blade down to her thigh and pushed in deeply. Blood rose and trailed along with her as she pulled the blade through her skin. It was the deepest she's gone and to be honest, she loved the feeling. Cutting and throwing up was like a drug to her now, whenever she saw food all she wanted to do was throw up and afterwards, she'll weigh herself, of course the numbers were all ways too high. Whenever the little voice talked to her, she felt like cutting. Also, the Doctor was also like a new form drug, whenever he came into the room, she felt like he was going to do something for her but it never happened. She remembers when she first dreamt of him, it was an amazing dream. "Doctor, I love you." She said cleaning up her new cuts that were going to be beautiful scars.

_Sweetie, you know he'll never love you back_. "I know but –" _No buts. No nothing. Zip it, there's no point saying that you love him because . . . You're you, basically_. "But it's true!" _No! You don't love him! You will not love the Doctor! You won't tell the doctor that you love him. _"He might love me back, I just have to ask." _He'll never love someone as pathetic as you, Rose Tyler! Don't even dream of it, you're fat! You're pathetic! Look at your stomach, it's bulging out! Everyone can see it and it's disgusting, I want to burn my eyes out just looking at it. I still can't see that collar bone, missy! I won't be happy until I see that collar bone! Your thighs still jiggle and it's just so fucking disgusting. You have fingers; shove them down that fat throat of yours! You have a blade, try and cut the fat away! Who. Could. Ever. Love. You!?_

Rose was crying on the floor now. She had a puddle of tears on the bathroom tiles and just hated everything about her. She struggled to lift herself to the bedroom but made it. Thank god her bag was on the floor. Rose changed into a jumper and jeans and crawled back to the bathroom before shoving one finger down her throat, two fingers down her throat, three fingers down her throat and finally she threw up her dinner from last night and her breakfast and lunch from today.

The Doctor came into the bathroom and again, held her hair back rubbed small circles on her back and whispered sweet words to her so she'd calm down. Soon after, Jackie came in with a cup of water. Rose brushed her teeth and drank the water. Afterwards, the Doctor helped her into her bed. Jackie went out to start dinner and since it was just the Doctor and Rose alone, she decided to ask him a question.

"Doctor," she said so quiet he almost didn't hear her. "Will you hold me again?"

The Doctor smiled. He took his shoes and jacket off and climbed into bed with her. Later that night, Jackie came in to tell Rose and the Doctor that Micky was here but they both had fallen asleep in the Doctor's arms. It was the first night in three days that Rose had sleep. And Rosed loved every minute of it.

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_Love You! __xxCharmspeakerxx_


	5. She Loves You, You Know?

_Hey my name is Macy I'm xxCharmspeakerxx's friend and since she doesn't use this site anymore she's allowed me to use it so yeah. I'm not going to change anything on her profile just for future reference and I hope you like my story(ies). Please drop a review, I'm new here and I hope you like my story that I've written. I don't own any characters in the story by the way. Love you!_

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Chapter Five: She Does Love You, You Know?

Rose woke up in the Doctor's strong arms feeling refreshed and new. Her head on was on his chest and even better, he was shirtless so all of his warmth was passed onto her. When she opened her eyes, she saw a man with a shaved head but you could tell that he had dark brown hair, he had chocolate brown skin and was wearing a white shirt with a red hoodie and jeans.

"Hello, Micky." Rose said adjusting her head so that her chin was sitting on the Doctor's chest and so that she could see Micky. "Long time no see." She joked with a smile that wasn't forced. It was the first non-forced smile that she's put on for a long time now. It felt nice to Rose; she liked the feeling of smiling without it being fake for once.

"How long has this been going on for?" Micky asked his eyes darting at Rose and the Doctor's arms around her waist. The Doctor shifted in the bed and tightened his grip around her. He wore a smile on his face and whispered Rose's name.

"Not long actually. This is only the second time that he's held me in bed." The truth! It felt so nice to tell people the truth.

"You love him?"

Rose looked down at him. Of course she loved him, but she'll never settle down with him and he'll never love her back. _Boys don't fall in love with sad girls. Upsetting isn't it? That you're a sad little bitch no one likes you, Rose Tyler! Go kill yourself; everyone will be a lot happier without you in the world. Just jump off a bridge or something, just get out of here already! Do everyone a favour._

"No," Rose lied.

Later that day, Micky and Rose went out to do some shopping while the Doctor and Jackie started cooking up for dinner. Jackie noticed the Doctor's sadness that day but decided to not ask until they were alone, which was right now.

"So, you want to talk about it?" Jackie asked while chopping up the carrots.

"About what?" The Doctor asked filling up the pan with water and putting it on the stove to boil it.

"What's bringing you down?"

"Nothing is bringing me down. Why would you think that something is bringing me down?"

"Because you're never quiet unless I'm over talking you and you haven't smiled all day. Now talk, Doctor." The Doctor didn't say anything and went to get the meat for the pasta bolognaise. Jackie stopped her vegetables and placed her hand on the Doctor's shoulder. She knew the look that the Doctor had given to everyone all day; he was way down in the dumps to even be awake today. "I'm a good listener."

"I overheard a question and I didn't the answer. That's all." The Doctor replied.

"What was Rose's answer?"

"Not everything is about Rose, Jackie."

"But you're clearly in love with her."

The Doctor closed his eyes and thought about Rose. He secretly did love her but he didn't think it was that obvious. Yes he was a good actor, but he kept so many things sheltered inside him and since he's meet Rose, he felt like the king of the universe. He hated it when they were in situations when he had to make a decision that may take her life but she always found a way to stay alive and with him. 'I'm staying with you forever' she'd say. Now, it may not be forever.

"She does love you." Jackie said going back to shopping the vegetables.

"How would you know?" The Doctor asked noticing her smirk.

"I'm her mother. I know these sorts of things. Don't worry about her and Micky, she does love you. I doubt that she's going to settle down because of it."

The door opened and Micky and Rose came in with bags of clothes. They dumped all the bags in the living room and had a look through. Rose pulled out a blue skater dress and some black heels. She laid the dress out on the floor and called for Jackie. Jackie and the Doctor stopped what they were doing and looked at the dress and the shoes.

"What do you think?" Rose asked in a small voice. Micky rubbed her shoulder and she looked back at the outfit. "I was thinking if I we end up going to a formal dance again I could wear something like this dress instead of that skirt and tank top. What do you think, Doctor?"

"It's beautiful, but why not a date?" Jackie asked before the Doctor could reply. "It seems more for dating and dancing, but dating."

"Nah, dancing. Remember the time when we danced, Doctor?" Rose said with a real smile. _Oh please, turn that frown right back down you piece of shit!_

"That was a really good day." The Doctor sat next to her and smiled. Rose leaned onto his chest and before they knew it, she was crying on his chest while sitting on his lap. The Doctor held her tightly and cradled her close to him, why she was crying? She didn't even know why. The Doctor and Rose didn't eat dinner that night; Micky had stayed over but went to bed once Rose had fallen asleep out of exhaustion of her crying.

Jackie brought the Doctor a cup of hot coco and sat next to him. She smiled as she took a sip of her drink coco and watched Rose in the Doctor's arms fast asleep like a little kitten. "I told you she loves you."

"I doubt it," The Doctor said not taking his eyes off Rose. She looked so small in his arms, so fragile. "Who could love me with my daff-dog face?"

"Well, when I first met you I was willing to have sex with you." Jackie chuckled. "I only have sex with people who I'm find attractive."

"Well, thank you . . . I think." The Doctor replied. He let his fingers touch her soft face, brushing a lock of hair out of his was. He was so tempted to lean down and kiss her lips; luckily, he's had heaps of practise to stop himself. "I'm going to put Rose into bed."

The Doctor lifted himself up without disturbing Rose one bit. He walked into her room and placed her on the bed. He untied her shoes and placed them back on the floor with the rest of her shoes in front of her mirror. He opened her wardrobe and collected her pyjamas; he took off her shirt and saw her scars all down her arms. Her beautiful arms were now covered with scars, new and old.

Rose's eyes flattered from the sudden cold. She went to pull her sleeves down but she couldn't feel the sleeves of her shirt anywhere. She looked down and then back up which was kind of a bad idea. The Doctor's eyes were scanning her arms; her scars were healing but not soon enough.

"I-I can . . . can't explain." Rose said holding her arms to her chest. The Doctor took one of her arms and did something Rose would never think he would do in his life time; he kissed her scars. "What was that for?"

"Get some sleep, Rose Tyler." The Doctor said. Rose nodded and put her pyjama shirt on. She couldn't be bothered changing her pants also because he's already seen her arms; she didn't want him to see her thighs.

"Cuddle again?" Rose asked pushing the sheets down so that the Doctor could come in. The Doctor smiled and came under the sheets with Rose. As soon as he was completely laying down, Rose put her head on the Doctor's chest and the Doctor pulled her closer to him, his arms around her small waist. Rose was nearly on top of him. And that's how they liked it.

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_Love You! __xxCharmspeakerxx_


	6. Over Controlling

_Hey my name is Macy I'm xxCharmspeakerxx's friend and since she doesn't use this site anymore she's allowed me to use it so yeah. I'm not going to change anything on her profile just for future reference and I hope you like my story(ies). Please drop a review, I'm new here and I hope you like my story that I've written. I don't own any characters in the story by the way. Love you!_

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Chapter Six: Over Controlling.

_Look at yourself, so many scars on your wrists. You need more on them and your legs are so fat! I mean, look at those thighs and calves! They're so big and so disgusting. Your stomach is bigger! Go out and buy some pills so that you can lose weight. Take drugs, drugs sounds really nice right now. Hey, there's a boy who hates you who smokes weed you know? Go talk to him, steal his weed. It'll be nice plus you need to lose all this weight! C'mon, this is ridiculous and so pitiful. Where are your fingers? Shove them down your throat right now! I order you to shove them down your throat until your stomach is flat, your legs are skinny and I still can't see your collar bones! You're a failure! A failure to me, to your mother, you didn't pass school! You decided to drop out and help out your mother who wants you drop dead on the floor. Poor you, no one is going to get you violins, get to it! Fingers, woman!_

Rose leaned over and shoved her fingers down her throat until she threw up all of her left overs for the past two days and three nights. She didn't like doing this to herself, but it also took some of the pain away and plus she was FAT. She agreed with the voice, she was disgusting and she needed to get it out of her.

_You finally didn't fail at something. First time but we all that it's the last time. I can't believe that the Doctor can stand to cuddle you at night. Oh wait! He hates it! He just wants you to shut the hell up for the first time since he's known you. Yeah, don't believe me? Well you better believe it, I'm the only person who's keeping you alive right now; everyone else wants you to be on the floor bleeding your heart out. Still don't believe me? The Doctor wants you to cut every piece of skin on your body –_

"Shut up! Just shut up!" Rose had her hands in her hair as she yelled.

_–He wants to see the ugly scars that you've put on yourself. He loves them! When he finds your blade you think he's going to take them away? No, he's going to film you cutting and laugh at you because you're so small and pathetic. He's lived over nine hundred years and you think that you're special? You've got to be joking. Please say you're joking!_

"I am special to him!" Rose yelled shaking her head at the thoughts. "He says I'm special so I am special!"

_AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU'RE SHITTING ME RIGHT NOW! YOU ACTUALLY THINK YOU'RE SPECIAL?! GUESS HOW MANY GIRLS HE'S CALLED SPECIAL!_

"Shut. Up!"

_OVER ONE THOUSAND GIRLS! HOW SPECIAL ARE YOU NOW? YOU'RE NOTHING TO ANY OTHER GIRL WHO HAS TRAVELLED WITH THE DOCTOR. YOU'RE WORTHLESS! YOU'RE WANTED NOWHERE! THE DARLEKS DON'T EVEN WANT YOU WITH THEIR CLAN BECAUSE THEY HATE YOU! YOU BURNT UP THEIR EMPEROR AND THEY ALSO WANT YOU TO DROP DEAD. OH MY GOD I'M LAUGHING SO HARD THAT I'M GOING TO EXPLODE. YOU SHOULD BE A FUCKING COMEDIAN BECAUSE, GIRL, YOU'RE OVERREACTING EVERYTHING THAT IT'S SO FUNNY AND SO PATHETIC. EVERYONE HATES YOU, NOW CUT YOUR SKIN RIGHT NOW!_

"No! I won't do it!"

_Oh? When did you get a choice? Cut._

"I don't want to!"

_You don't get to decide what you can and cannot do and right now you have to cut! Go get the weed from that boy who never liked you, get the alcohol from the cellar down stairs and drink until you find the pills from the medicine cabinet and let's overdose! Get on to it!_

"I won't do it!"

_Move those legs!_ Rose lifted herself from the toilet bowl_. Now walk out to the kitchen!_ And so Rose walked out to the kitchen. _Move left to the door to the_ _cellar_. Rose moved to the left and walked to the cellar door. _Open the door! Gosh, do I have to control your every single move_? Rose opened the cellar door and walked down the stairs. She looked at the alcohol and cried._ Get the strongest spirit! NOW! _Rose went to the spirits and picked up the whisky. She didn't know if it was the strongest but it was strong. Get back to the bathroom and pick up all the tablets that you can find. Rose walked up the stairs and balled her eyes out. What was she doing? She didn't want to do this! _Shut up, Rose Tyler! Just get all your pills you have! _"But I don't want to." Rose said getting every box that contained pills in them. _I don't care what you want and don't want to do. I'm the one keeping you alive here! Listen to me and do as I say!_ "Okay." Rose opened the bottle and popped all the pills out. She placed the pills on the floor of her kitchen and counted how many pills were there. So far, there were twenty six pills. _Twenty more!_ "Okay." Rose whispered. She popped out fifteen more pills and then she ran out. "I don't have any more left." _Fine you worthless child_. Rose placed pills one by one in her mouth, taking a sip of the whisky as she put a new pill in. After about fifteen pills, the voice in her head started to get impatient. _Take them all in now! Before it's too late_. "But, I want to sleep now." _TAKE THE FUCKING PILLS NOW!_ "Okay." Rose picked up all the pills and stood up with the bottle in hand. She threw the pills in her mouth and went to drink the alcohol when she suddenly heard her name.

"Rose! Don't drink that. Please take my hand and we can get through this together." The Doctor said holding his hand out. He hand a large hand to hold and it look and felt so good when she looked at it or held it with her hand. Rose loved the way he held her at night, he held her so tight, it was the only time she felt truly safe, only with the Doctor. "Rose, take my hand."

He's lying. He wants you to drink the alcohol!

"I don't know what's going on but I need you to trust me."

He doesn't want you!

"Rose Tyler, do you trust me?"

"I do, Doctor."

"Then take my hand." He held both hands out. Rose so desperately wanted to take his hands but the voice in her head told her otherwise. _He's lying_, the voice kept saying, _he hates you, stop listening to him and drink the fucking whisky._

"But I want to take his hand!" Rose yelled. The Doctor was confused. Who was she talking to? He thought. He took a couple of steps before Rose broke down onto the floor crying. Some of the pills came out of her mouth. "I don't want to!"

_Do it! Put the bottle to your lips!_

Rose cried out even more. Rose poured the liquid down her throat and all the pills went down her throat. The Doctor cried out and took the bottle away from her. He dropped the bottle onto the counter and held onto Rose's shoulders. Rose's eyes dilated and said: "I love you." And she passed out.

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_Love You! __xxCharmspeakerxx_


	7. CALuvsDoctorWho!

_Hey my name is Macy I'm xxCharmspeakerxx's friend and since she doesn't use this site anymore she's allowed me to use it so yeah. I'm not going to change anything on her profile just for future reference and I hope you like my story(ies). Please drop a review, I'm new here and I hope you like my story that I've written. I don't own any characters in the story by the way. Love you!_

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Hi, I just want to say thank you for all the people who have given me reviews so far. A shout out to WhoviHead for the my first reviewer and to everyone else who has reviewed this story so far. I also want to say that thank you of the suggestion for the trigger warning it's now up and it's now up! I didn't think of that and I'm sorry that I didn't put one up before. Thank you for my eighteen followers and my three favourites! And to CALuvsDoctorWho I just want to say thank you for your review but this is meant to be a sad story and yes there isn't any comfort yet but it's coming up and if you didn't notice, in one of the chapters the Doctor does help her with her sleep. The romance is coming up just relax and be patient. Thank you once again and I'm sorry that this isn't a chapter.

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_Love You! __xxCharmspeakerxx_


	8. She Had What?

_Hey my name is Macy I'm xxCharmspeakerxx's friend and since she doesn't use this site anymore she's allowed me to use it so yeah. I'm not going to change anything on her profile just for future reference and I hope you like my story(ies). Please drop a review, I'm new here and I hope you like my story that I've written. I don't own any characters in the story by the way. Love you!_

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Chapter Seven: She Had What?

The Doctor sat up all night holding Rose's hand as she laid in the hospital bed. She had just gotten out of the emergency room; the doctors and nurses had to pump the alcohol and the medication out of her system before it had an effect and killed her. Thank god the Doctor was with her when she drank the rest of the whisky.

The doctors asked Micky, Jackie and the Doctor questions about Rose, only questions that the Doctor could answer but from the state that Rose was in, he was in no hurry to answer their important questions. He just waved them off and held onto Rose's hand with a tight grip, occasionally whispering soft gentle quotes and old saying to her and himself. At one point, he ended up singing a song about how all her flaws are perfect and that he's in love with her and all of her flaws that she hated.

Jackie and Micky sat opposite the Doctor and watched him mourn over her. They all knew that she wasn't dead, the Doctor had a feeling that he knew what was going on in her mind but could never be too sure when it came to these sort of things while Jackie and Micky wondered why she tried making suicide. Why would she even think about it? She was always a happy girl!

"Doctor," Jackie spoke up hoping to get his attention. "Doctor, why did she try to make suicide?"

The Doctor shook his head and looked down, afraid to show his emotions and the little salty water drops slipping from his eyes. "I'm not completely sure, but I-I think –"

A doctor walked in and check her health, blood pressure, heart beat. "Mr . . . I'm sorry I didn't get your name."

"It doesn't matter what my name is!" The Doctor said loudly. Rose stirred and the Doctor quickly went to her air, placing his hand on her cheek. Rose groaned but didn't open her eyes, but she did smile. She decided let go of the Doctor's hand that he was holding onto for the whole night and decided to bring her hands up to his hand that was currently under her cheek. Her hands went under his and cradled a part of his arm smiling to herself.

"I'm sorry but you're going to have to answer these questions for me." The medical doctor said standing next to the Doctor his pen already in his hand ready to write down the answers. "Do you know any reason why Rose would try to commit suicide?"

"I don't know." The Doctor replied.

"Have there been any signs of her wanting to commit?"

"I don't think she wanted to in the first place."

"Please do tell."

"It's just something Rose wouldn't do." Jackie spoke up lifting some pressure off the Doctor. "She's a sweet girl, but she has been quite a lot lately. That's not normally like her."

"Has Rose had any medical background of a mental illness?" Oh that shut Jackie up. She sunk into her hair and tried to hide her face. "Mr Tyler, please, I need to know."

Jackie let out a loud deep sigh and shifted in her chair. "When Rose was about five or six, she was diagnosed with depression. At first it wasn't so bad I would just send her off to therapy and she'll be fine. But it got worse and worse, she wasn't making any progress and she was sent off to hospital. Rose hated it in her ward; she hated the kids and all the staff. Her doctor and I found out that it was because she doesn't have a father when it was father's day and all the kids were making cards for their fathers and the fact that I didn't spend a lot of time outside with her. That's all I can remember from her depression. But her doctor said that she didn't need to be on medication anymore and that she doesn't have depression anymore. You don't think . . . that it could be her depression again, do you?"

The medical doctor had written everything down and thanked Jackie without any answers. He left the room with his head low. Jackie, Micky and the Doctor were all tearing up together; Jackie was the first to burst out in tears. How did the Doctor not notice that she used to have depression? He wasn't so sure but right now, he cared but he didn't. He just wanted Rose safe and sound in his TARDIS.

Rose shifted and groaned in her sleep. She muttered a couple of words that the Doctor didn't understand. Her words became louder and clearer but sounded like she was in pain. "Doctor!" She suddenly started to scream. Her body was moving in pain and she sounded like she was about to cry. "Doctor! Don't leave me!" The Doctor reacted so quickly that Micky secretly thought that he was trained as a ninja. Doctors and nurses came rushing in to witness Rose's nightmare and the fact that they didn't know that she was actually calling the nine hundred year old time lord and not them.

"Doctor, don't leave me! Please!" Rose screamed. The Doctor climbed onto her bed and pulled her into his lap. He held her tightly and rocked her from side to side,

"I'm never going to leave you, Rose." The Doctor said. As he spoke, Rose started to calm down. At times she'll twitch but nothing too big. Her screaming stopped and she fell back into a peace full state. "You hear me? I'm going to stay with you until you want me to leave. I'm here holding you, just stay with me." The Doctor whispered in her ear.

Rose smiled and nuzzled her head in the Doctor's chest. The Doctor didn't let go of Rose no matter what the doctors or nurses said; he was not letting go.

Later that night, Rose awoke feeling the worse but also felt like she was on top of the world. She looked up to see the Doctor asleep with his arms around her. Her head was on his chest and their legs were entwined.

"Rose?" Jackie stood at the door with a cup of tea. Micky was asleep sitting upright on the floor. He looked so peaceful. "How are you, sweetie?"

"Mum, I think I'm in love." Rose admitted. She searched for the Doctor's hand and when she found it; their fingers were laced together and held on tightly. "I don't know what to do."

"Oh, Rose, honey, he probably already knows. I mean, I think you were having a nightmare or something but you kept screaming his name and thrashing around on the bed and when he cradled you in his arms and started whispering things to you, you calmed down really quickly. It was a miracle that you calmed down so quickly, if only you calmed down that quickly when you were a child."

Rose laughed and looked at her bandaged arm. Her arm was bandaged from her wrist to her elbow on both of her arms. Rose looked back at her mother who looked calm and like she was taking it well. "I know what you did and I'm not happy about it. Why didn't you come tell me? I can help with your cutting."

"I didn't think that you'd take it lightly." Rose replied hiding her face. The Doctor was still asleep, taking in small breathes in and out his nose. _He looks so beautiful_, Rose thought. It was her own thought, now that little voice from the back of her head for once. Since she was thinking about that voice, she wondered where it went, why it had chosen her to torture, what has Rose ever done to deserve this pain?

_What have I done to you?_ Rose thought.

_You're just an ugly worthless little child who secretly has no life and wants a man who hates her guts and regrets saving your sorry ass to be your boyfriend. You're lucky you even had Micky, man he was good in the bedroom. But still, he only went out with you because he had no one else to turn to but you're such an easy target! Oh, I still can't see your collar bones, where's the nearest bathroom?_

"I think I might go to the bathroom." Rose said. She tried getting up but the Doctor's grip tightened. He gently pulled her back down. His eyes fluttered open and the first thing he saw was his Rose. His Rose, the Doctor liked the sound of that.

"You have underwear on underneath that gown, right?" The Doctor asked. Jackie looked appalled while Rose was just plain confused. She nodded eyeing the Doctor. "I want to show you something." The Doctor shifted Rose and held her bridal style. He walked to the bathroom that the ward had for her. The Doctor locked the door and gently placed Rose on her feet. Rose had to admit; she had a little trouble standing at first but adjusted a couple of seconds later.

"What do you think about yourself?" The Doctor asked.

Rose shrugged her shoulders. "I'm just Rose Tyler."

"I'm talking about your appearance, Rose."

Rose sighed. "I'm beautiful, my thighs, stomach –"_ LIAR! YOU'RE SUCH A DIRTY SNEAKY LIAR. YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF, ROSE TYLER!_ "Are too big I'm disgusting and I can't stand looking at myself in the mirror, I want to be skinny like every other girl I see on the streets and in the universe –" _You're finally saying some truth! Finally you disgusting rat!_ "The Slavine family were thinner than me! How can that be? My thighs jiggle, my stomach bulges out, my arms are just disgusting and where the hell are my collar bones? I can't see my fucking collar bones!" Yeah I still can't see those collar bones as well. Oh look, a toilet!

Rose quickly turned to the toilet and shoved her fingers down her throat. Luckily, the Doctor pulled her fingers out of her throat before she could throw up her leftovers. Rose was crying, she just admitted everything the voice in her head said that she is. She hated that voice, she wanted it out! She wanted to get out of the universe!

"That's what you think about yourself?" The Doctor asked bringing her to face the mirror once again. He started to hitch up her gown until it was off her body. He folded the gown and placed his hands on Rose's hips. "Rose, look at yourself." Rose opened her eyes and looked at herself in the mirror. She couldn't believe what she saw! Her legs and arms were covered with scars from using her own knife and blade and she could see her bones. She looked at her non-existent stomach and counted her ribs. Fourteen bones, seven on each side, she had too skinny legs and she could see a long bone in her arms and could trace her knee cap. Rose leaned forward a bit and felt her collar bones.

"I have . . . Collar bones." She said in most utter disbelief. She gaped at her body, mainly her collar bones. She was . . . Horrifying. She hated that she did this to her body, all the cuts and scars, all the bones that she could see. "Oh my God, what have I done?!" She cried looking away. The Doctor puts his arms around her very tiny waist and kissed her forehead.

"Rose, what made you do this?" He asked.

Rose looked at herself again and burst into tears. "There was a little voice in my head, it's still in there. It's telling me things that I don't want to do."

"What things?"

"S-she . . . Wants m-me to lean o-over the toilet bowl and s-shove my fingers down m-my th-throat." She hiccupped. "I can't believe I'm even more disgusting!"

"No, no, Rose." The Doctor said. He lifted her chin with his thumb and his index finger. "You know what I see?" No answer. "I see a beautiful, healthy, strong minded girl. Her personality can make anyone love you –" He clicked his finger "–just like that."

"Doctor," Rose said taking deep breaths. She whipped her tears away and let the Doctor help her put the gown back on her body, hiding all of the bones and her cuts and scars. "Let's get some lunch."

"Fantastic!"

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_Love You! __xxCharmspeakerxx_


	9. That's Not Normal!

_Hey my name is Macy I'm xxCharmspeakerxx's friend and since she doesn't use this site anymore she's allowed me to use it so yeah. I'm not going to change anything on her profile just for future reference and I hope you like my story(ies). Please drop a review, I'm new here and I hope you like my story that I've written. I don't own any characters in the story by the way. Love you!_

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Chapter Eight: That's Not Normal!

"Hello Rose," The medical doctor said. Rose was holding her Doctor's hand tightly at times squeezing it to see if he was still there with her. It's been two weeks since the Doctor showed Rose what her body actually looks like and since then, she's been trying to ignore the voice (though it's been so difficult) she hasn't been cutting (but she has to admit, she does miss the pain floating away from her body system) and she's been eating as much as she can. The Doctor has been helping her out through the whole time along with Micky and Jackie. The Doctor would always convince the nurses to let all three of them stay the night. "Today we're just going to do a CAT Scan to see if you've got a brain tumour. Sometimes when you're good and happy and then suddenly your world crashes down and you can't seem to have fun anymore the cause may be a brain tumour." Thank God Jackie and Micky aren't here right now. "It'll be in twenty minutes, have you had breakfast yet?"

"No, we're about to go get some." Rose replied.

"It's okay. I'll bring it to you. You do know that the hospital does provide food for you?"

"Yeah but I've been practicing balancing my weight as I walk so I've been getting my breakfast instead of someone getting it for me. Thank you anyway for your offer, but I think I might get it today."

"As you wish." The Doctor gave her a sexy smile and a wink and left the room. The Doctor glared at the other doctor as he walked out. How dare he? Is he blind? Did he not see his hand holding hers? Has he not seen the Doctor holding her at night? Bastard.

"Shall we go?" Rose said shoving the quilt off her body. She swung her legs over the bed and held my hands as she slid down from her bed.

"I'm getting you a new doctor." The Doctor suddenly said holding her waist. Hey both walked to the kitchen and got Rose's tray. She had a small stack of pancakes, a cup of orange juice and some water to take her medicine. Rose took two antidepressants and one tablet for her energy.

"Why? Don't you like the doctor I currently have?" Rose asked as they walked back to the room. They walked past Rose's medical doctor and so the Doctor glared at him, his hand tightening around her waist. "Is somebody a little bit jealous?"

"No, it's just I don't want anyone hurting you even more since you're in a bad state."

Rose giggled and leaned on the Doctor. "It's okay; I only need one Doctor in my life."

When they were back in Rose's room, the Doctor placed her breakfast tray on the bedside table and helped her into the bed. She shifted over to the side so that he could sit by her but to her disappointment, he didn't. The Doctor gave Rose her breakfast and let her eat; eyeing her in case she tried to pretend to eat. She's done that a couple of times, before she came into the hospital though. Rose only ate two pieces of her pancakes and then drank her medicine with the water and went back to try and finish off her pancakes.

"I can't eat anymore, sorry." She said pushing the tray away. Three pancakes and the water, that's pretty good. Only a week ago she ate a piece of toast and that's it. She couldn't drink the water or eat the other piece of toast. The Doctor was more proud of her than last week, three pieces was a pretty big deal to him and he hoped that in no time, she could eat all five pieces without any trouble.

The Doctor placed the tray on her bedside table again and sat next to her. "Rose Tyler," He said. "You're doing such a good job, in no time; we'll be back in the TARDIS saving planets. We can go see the nose less dogs!"

Rose laughed. She hadn't laughed so hard in such a long time, it felt so good and that pain that you get in your stomach when you laugh so hard, yeah she got that great pain. That only pain that she wanted in her body system.

_Stop laughing! You're never going to see those nose less dogs you know. You should be more like . . . I don't know? DEAD! DIE WOMAN!_

Rose's mood went straight down. She crouched down and hugged her knees to her chest. The Doctor's smile quickly turned into a small frown. He lifted her chin up and slowly leaned in closer to her face. Her lips parted along with his. I'm finally going to do this! They both thought that the same time with the same happiness. Their lips were only centimetres apart when suddenly her medical doctor came in.

"Okay Rose, it's time for your cat scan." He said holding a clip board. Jackie stood behind the medical doctor. "Follow me." All three of them followed the doctor. Micky came shortly after with two cups of coffee. He gave one to the Doctor and said not to pay him back even though the Doctor probably wasn't going to, it was still a nice thought though.

Rose and her medical doctor walked through a door while Jackie, Micky and the Doctor sat outside and waited. About six or eight minutes later, Rose came out blinking non-stop. "It's too bright out here."

Jackie Rose and took Rose's hand. "Let's get you back to your room." She smiled. They walked back to Rose's room while the Doctor and Micky talked for a bit. Basically Micky told the Doctor that if he ever hurt Rose he'll hunt him down and make his life miserable. Of course, the Doctor chuckled by his act of being tough and walked back to Rose's room.

Rose's medical doctor placed her CAT Scan pictures on a board and lit up the board to see the picture clearer.

"What the hell is that?" He said putting on his glasses to see if he saw what he saw or if it was just a figure of his imagination. "Hey, come here for a second." He told Rose's nurse. The nurse came over and had to same reaction. There was something small in Rose's head, it was an oval shape and it was on her right side of her brain. "I have to tell them." He took the picture down and went straight to Rose's room.

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_Love You! __xxCharmspeakerxx_


	10. Ouch!

_Hey my name is Macy I'm xxCharmspeakerxx's friend and since she doesn't use this site anymore she's allowed me to use it so yeah. I'm not going to change anything on her profile just for future reference and I hope you like my story(ies). Please drop a review, I'm new here and I hope you like my story that I've written. I don't own any characters in the story by the way. Love you!_

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Chapter Nine: Ouch!

Rose's medical doctor showed Rose, the Doctor, Micky and Jackie what the CAT Scan x-ray showed them. The medical doctor said that he's never seen anything like it and he'd like to do more scans to try and figure out what it is. When he showed the picture for the first time, the Doctor's eyes widen. Of course he knew what it was! It was a little alien spaceship. The aliens are still unknown with their name but they're known to make people do whatever they want, and they weren't very nice aliens. The Doctor had good and some very bad news to tell Rose, Jackie and Micky but in a way, the bad news could be seen as some very good news but they would have to explain a lot about her weight loss and her scars which are healed up now. Jackie brought some Bio oil for them and since she started, there hasn't been any result yet but in a couple of months they should be nearly gone if she applies it when she wakes up and before she goes to bed.

"Can I please speak to my friends in private?" The Doctor asked the medical doctor. The medical doctor nodded and left them alone. "This is fantastic!"

"How is this fantastic?" Jackie asked in annoyance.

"Yeah, Doctor. Rose having depression and now there's something in her brain. Please enlighten us!"

"Because, I know what this little circle is –" He said circling the oval shaped ship, "And I know how to get it out and it's pretty easy but it may hurt."

"Do it already!" Rose demanded.

"They're aliens, unknown for their names but known for what they do. What they do is that they collect information about what they know and their past of the brain that have now called their home, any living creature. Then they speak to the person and basically tell them what to do, if they're lucky enough, they can also control their movements –"

"Does that mean I'm weak minded?" Rose asked.

"–No because remember, the night you came into hospital you were fighting it and they don't like that. That means you have a strong mind, Rose Tyler. Anyway, they do whatever they can to kill off the living creature they're currently talking to and once they're dead; they eat the brain and move onto something else. Easy as that!"

"There's an alien in my daughters head!" Jackie yelled.

"And I need you, Micky, to stand on the other side of Rose and I need you, Jackie to hold her shoulders. We're getting the ship out of her." Rose stood up while Jackie took grip of her shoulders. The Doctor went in front of Rose and spoke a three letter word to her: "I love you." Then he smacked at the side of her head. Micky caught a small oval shaped thing which had enlarged to the size of his palm. Micky quickly covered his palm before the spaceship could get away. Rose had fainted when the space ship came out of her ear and was currently in Jackie's arms.

"What did you do that for?" Jackie yelled. "Tell her you love her then get the space ship out!"

"I needed her to feel really happy, Jackie." He said. He looked at Rose's calm face and sighed. "And I do love her." He took Rose out of Jackie's arms and brought her into his. "Good news is that the space ship is out . . . The bad news is that she may have memory loss."

"So she won't remember anything or just when this alien got into her head?" Micky asked. The Doctor pulled out his sonic screwdriver and pointed it inside Micky's hand to the space ship. Once it was paralysed, the Doctor threw the space ship in his jacket pocket and cradled Rose in his arms.

Rose's eyes fluttered open. She looked at the Doctor and smiled. "Hello," She said. She sat up and looked at her mum and then at Micky. "Right, depression, hospital. I remember now." She rubbed her head and her eyes. "Was that really just a tiny spaceship? All that torture? An alien in a space ship?" She asked the Doctor.

"Yeah, told you it was fantastic." He grinned his oh-so-famous-grin and kissed her forehead. "There any voice in your head?"

Rose didn't say anything for a minute or two. "Only the sound of my own voice saying 'Get something to eat'."

That afternoon, the Doctor got rid of the evidence that Rose was admitted into hospital and erased all the data of the past few weeks of Rose. They were all currently having dinner at Jackie's house, talking making jokes, having a good time. The Doctor and Rose were planning to leave tomorrow morning after breakfast since Rose could now handle being out in the universe again and didn't want to make suicide anymore, she didn't need to be on suicide watch, but of course, the Doctor was still going to take care of her at all costs. What if she didn't remember what I said? The Doctor thought to himself, _what if she forgot about all the times I've held her and all the times I've helped her eat her food. What if she has forgotten everything?_

"I think I'm going to go to bed," The Doctor said. He stood up and walked out the dining room with his hands in his pockets and his head down. Now he was getting himself feeling depressed.

"Doctor," Rose placed her hand on his shoulder and guided him into her room. "Sleep with me tonight?"

The Doctor smiled to himself and took off his jacket. "Of course I will, Rose Tyler."

Rose smiled and quickly got ready for bed while the Doctor waited. He pulled the sheets on top of his legs and watched Rose as she turned off the light and crawled into her bed. Rose wrapped her arms around the Doctor and placed her head on his chest. The Doctor gently wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her body closer. They were lying on their sides so that they could see each other's faces. Rose nuzzled her head in the Doctor's neck while he rested his chin on her head. They both were basically in paradise at that moment of time, it was just a matter of time when it ended and that was going to be tomorrow morning.

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_Love You! __xxCharmspeakerxx_


	11. Sweet TARDIS Sweet TARDIS

_Hey my name is Macy I'm xxCharmspeakerxx's friend and since she doesn't use this site anymore she's allowed me to use it so yeah. I'm not going to change anything on her profile just for future reference and I hope you like my story(ies). Please drop a review, I'm new here and I hope you like my story that I've written. I don't own any characters in the story by the way. Love you!_

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Chapter Ten: Sweet TARDIS Sweet TARDIS.

The next morning, Jackie looked through the cards that Rose wrote when she was younger. It was in the period of time when she had depression and had to go to hospital. When she was younger, Rose used to say that she had to write the letters on a black piece of paper with a red sharpie. Whenever Jackie asked why black paper and a red sharpie, Rose would always reply with "Because red is the colour of my blood and black is the colour of death. Why, mummy?" Rose's response always scared Jackie to death. On the pieces of paper, in big messy writing were messages like_: I sometimes find it hard to know that nobody likes me and it hurts my heart_ and _I'm sorry if my imperfection offends you_ and _I'm a fat cow_ and **_HEL_**_lo, I'm ha**P**py. i'**M** fin**E**_and the worse one yet:  
**_Dear me_**_  
I hate **you**  
You're **weak**  
You deserve the **pain**  
You're **imperfect**  
You'll never be good enough  
I hope you **die**!_

Every time when Jackie would bring out the box with these messages to herself, she always starts to tear up or bursts into tears. Always, always, always! And she hates seeing her daughter so fragile and in pain. She hated those couple of years of the dark ages in Rose's life and she hoped that it'll never happen again. Jackie hated to admit this, but the Doctor was the one who made her truly happy.

"Mum?" Rose knocked on the door. Jackie quickly shoved everything piece of paper back in the box that she kept all the notes in and pushed it under her bed. She stood up and pretended that she was doing her make up. "Hey mum, the Doctor and I are about to leave," Rose said. She grabbed her mother's hand and looked in her eyes. "Mum, you okay?"

"Yeah," Jackie lied. "It just seems weird that there was an alien in your brain and you had an illness and now you're . . . Perfectly fine."

Rose smiled and squeezed her hand. "C'mon, walk me to the TARDIS?" Rose put her puppy dog eyes on which her mother could not say no to. Jackie laughed and dragged Rose outside with her bag of fresh clean new clothes.

Micky and the Doctor were already at the TARDIS. They were leaning on the time machine talking about the circuit and how people might notice that the police box is there since they don't have police boxes in the twenty first century.

"People might stop and try and see inside it!" Micky said. It wasn't an argument where both people are angry but one of those arguments where you're laughing and explaining and having such great fun at the same time.

"Then I'll let them take a picture of it then make them clean the TARDIS."

"Why don't you change it to something else?"

"What do you have against a police box?" Rose said smiling, leaning on the TARDIS with her shoulder, leg behind the other one and her arms crossed looking cocky. "I love it! It's a beautiful time machine."

"It's good to see you smiling again." Micky said giving her a bone crushing hug. Rose returned the favour with a kiss on the cheek which the Doctor did not approve of at all.

Jackie gave the Doctor a kiss on his cheek which Rose did not approve of. She also gave Jackie one last hug before entering the TARDIS again. The Doctor closed the door and had a look at Rose's outfit; she was wearing a black spaghetti strap, a short black shirt with skin colour tights and a grey jacket and grey ankle boots. Her hair was up in low pigtails that rested on her shoulders and looked fantastic on here.

"Where would you like to go, Rose Tyler?" The Doctor asked.

"Around your hips." Rose replied. The Doctor looked at her confused. As he turned, Rose ran up to him and jumped, wrapping her legs around his waist. The Doctor held her by her thighs and kept her face to face with him. Rose smiled and crashed her lips on his. Her lips were so soft and so were his lips. "I love you too, Doctor."

_This is wrong_, the Doctor thought, _I'm going to regenerate and turn into someone different. She's not going to like my daff dog face anymore_. The Doctor sighed and gave one last peck on her lips.

"I have to say something," The Doctor said.

"Yes, Doctor?" Rose said. The Doctor tried not to look at her, mainly her beautiful and so innocent eyes.

"I love you but . . . Rule number one: The Doctor lies."

The End!

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_Love You! __xxCharmspeakerxx_


	12. What now?

_Hey my name is Macy I'm xxCharmspeakerxx's friend and since she doesn't use this site anymore she's allowed me to use it so yeah. I'm not going to change anything on her profile just for future reference and I hope you like my story(ies). Please drop a review, I'm new here and I hope you like my story that I've written. I don't own any characters in the story by the way. Love you!_

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Hey guys! It's me! I'm just saying thank you to all of my followers, favourites and the reviews you guys gave me! I'm also saying that my friends started to annoy me and wanted to read this so I'm also posting this story up on Wattpad right now! Yaaaayyyy . . . Also there's a sequel! I've already started uploading it on FanFiction and I hope you really like it because I've spent so much time on this story when I was meant to be doing homework. It's called The New Emperor and I'm going to post new chapters hopefully every night and I'm happy with my stories and I really hope you love this story and my next one as much as I did. Thank you for supporting me out through this whole time as I uploaded a new chapter and I hope you enjoyed reading this story as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Thank you once again 3 3 3

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_Love You! __xxCharmspeakerxx_


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